I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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