Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
