she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
