i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
3pm strippers are depressing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
