Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
