I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
