dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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