Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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