I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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