It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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