yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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