Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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