you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
