just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
