Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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