We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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