somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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