i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
