I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
