he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
