he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
