I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
