I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
