We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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