i think my mom watched the whole time
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
