i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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