Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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