With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
