I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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