we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
