Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
