I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize