If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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