went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
