i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
