No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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