so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
