DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Congratulations! We have a period
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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