He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
