You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
home. puking in laundry basket.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
