You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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