He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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