Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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