he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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