She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
