5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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