Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
