so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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