just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
