i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
