I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
